If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh god it's open bar.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
