it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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