Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
