his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
