TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
