So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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