Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
