how can u be prego again
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
