I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
