why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
