Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
