You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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