as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
