I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
