I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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