I'm jealous of your bromance
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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