Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Panties = found
Randomize
