is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
