i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I understand Curling. That high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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