? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
