god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
