i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
