it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
