HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
