How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
