yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
