She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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