Are we in a gay sports bar?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
