so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did i walk over a car last night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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