i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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