I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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