is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
