I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
