If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize