I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
