Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
