You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
