I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
