I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
