I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
