Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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