I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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