I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
