She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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