She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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