is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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