I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
