I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
