do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
