the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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