also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
