omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
